You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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