I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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