I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
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She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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