would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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