me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
