if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is wine microwaveable?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
