I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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