Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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