dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
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Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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