you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
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I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
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I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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