Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
