Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
