he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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