If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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