we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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