I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
