I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize