i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
