he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think my moral compass just broke
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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