That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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