dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
