I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
ttyl tear gas
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
