eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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