Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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