Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
