Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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