nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
