My room smells like vodka and shame
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
