(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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