News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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