yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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