Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
