my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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