I hope mine doesn't look like that
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
