So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We have started to decorate penises.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
