i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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