New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize