idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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