so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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