i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Every concussion has its silver lining
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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