marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize