I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Barsexuality is the new black.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
