Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
