the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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