Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
