think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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