It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
