can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize