Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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