I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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