Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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