She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
