My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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