theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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