dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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