Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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