I haven't been this sober since birth.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
