did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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