I'm lost and stupid without you.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You took a bar mat shot.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
