OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
sarcasm needs its own font
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
