he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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