I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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