Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
