ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
