He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
