God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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