Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
