Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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