Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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